You Might Be a Hillbilly if…

You take your dog for a walk and both use the same tree.
You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a flyswatter.
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
You burn your yard rather than mow it.
You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
You come back from the dump with more than you took.
Your grandmother has “ammo” on her Christmas list.
You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
You’ve been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
You go to the stock car races and don’t need a program.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
Your house doesn’t have curtains, but your truck does.
You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say “Cool Whip” on the side.
The biggest city you’ve ever been to is Wal-Mart.
Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
You’ve used your ironing board as a buffet table.
A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
You’ve used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
And last, but not least…
You live in Gordo, AL
 

Ol' T Rig wants to grow up and be like me someday. Don't worry buddy, you still got time. And remember, being 2nd is not bad!!

Mine too Bob. But he is still a Hillbilly.

by the way, I respectfully do not include my 2011 partner in this category. 

Too late T-rig. I think I'll have to tell your partner. Is it the wrong time to say my parents live in Gordo?